For the first sixteen years of my life, i have never felt the importance and power of language. In primary and secondary school I have rarely or rather never taken my English homework seriously. I remember there was once, after the one month, my teacher was collecting our English holiday homework and I could not submit anything as I did none of the homework she gave us. I could see that she was quite disappointed in me when I couldn't hand in anything and I felt really bad about it. At that point of time, I felt that doing English homework is a waste of time as it won't reflect much on my grade as compared to other content subjects like science or mathematics. Hence, my foundation for English has always been weak.
It was until these few years that I come to realize the importance of language. One example was my interview at SMU. It was a group interview, questions were asked and whoever wants to answer was given a chance. There were many instances where I have many points in my minds but kept to myself eventually as I face problem expressing them. I failed the interview. Also, I feel that the way you speak tell a lot about you. When you are able to speak confidently, which will be easy if you are comfortable with the language, and fluently, the words you say will sound more convincing and reliable. All these make me want to improve my language badly.
I am determined to take all the lessons in Es1102 seriously and I was glad that the basics will be taught as I am really bad at that and I feel that they are the most important. Hope I can better express myself better after this semester and eventually able to speak confidently and eloquently.
From the first paragraph,
ReplyDelete“…after the one month…” felt incomplete. Probably, you could add “holiday” after it.
“…I felt really bad about it.”, “really” can be dropped.
From paragraph two,
“…my minds…”, I believe that it should be “…my mind…” instead.
“…tell…”, I feel that it should be “…tells…” instead.
I was lost halfway through reading this sentence “When you are able to speak confidently...”.
The third paragraph felt abrupt.
From paragraph three,
“I am determined to take all the lessons in Es1102 seriously…”, this sentence felt long and there are many “that” mentioned. No punctuation makes it difficult to catch my breath while reading it.
“Hope I can better express myself better…” This sentence felt strange as I do not start a sentence with a verb. Also, the second “better” can be ignored.
Correct me if I am wrong, thanks! :D
Elissa,
DeleteThank you so much for making the effort and paying attention to language usage. Let me give you some feedback:
1. From the first paragraph,
“…after the one month…” felt incomplete. Probably, you could add “holiday” after it.
This is a good point. To clearly specify the timeframe, Yan Ting could insert 'holiday'.
2. “…I felt really bad about it.”, “really” can be dropped.
The word 'really' is used to add more emphasis on the 'bad' feeling. You may consider 'really' being less formal than 'very' in academic writing, but it is grammatically correct.
3. From paragraph two:
“…my minds…”, I believe that it should be “…my mind…” instead.
Well-spotted: it should be 'my mind'…
“…tell…”, I feel that it should be “…tells…” instead.
Well spotted: Also, I feel that the way you speak tell a lot about you.
This is a Subject-Verb Agreement error.
Singular subject: I feel that the way you speak
Verb: tells
I was lost halfway through reading this sentence “When you are able to speak confidently...”.
When you are able to speak confidently, which will be easy if you are comfortable with the language, and fluently, the words you say will sound more convincing and reliable. All these make me want to improve my language badly.
I think you were confused by the unnecessary comma after the word language. Try reading it without the comma:
When you are able to speak confidently, which will be easy if you are comfortable with the language and fluently, the words you say will sound more convincing and reliable. All these make me want to improve my language badly.
3. The third paragraph felt abrupt.
From paragraph three,
“I am determined to take all the lessons in Es1102 seriously…”, this sentence felt long and there are many “that” mentioned. No punctuation makes it difficult to catch my breath while reading it.
This is actually a grammatically correct sentence.
I am determined to take all the lessons in Es1102 seriously and I was glad that the basics will be taught as I am really bad at that and I feel that they are the most important.
“Hope I can better express myself better…” This sentence felt strange as I do not start a sentence with a verb. Also, the second “better” can be ignored.
Informally, it is not incorrect to say 'Hope I can….'. Formally, it is better to say 'I hope I can…'
Sure, one 'better' can be deleted.
Yan Ting,
ReplyDeleteContent and organisation:
Thank you for sharing your very honest story about your English learning journey with me. I enjoyed reading your blog. It is hard to believe that you once didn't take learning English seriously as I sense that you are trying very hard in class thus far. Work hard, give ES1102 a chance, and I am sure you will see great improvement in your writing.
Overall, you described your experience well and your ideas are presented logically from past to future--great job.
Language: Pay attention to the use of tenses
1. We will be talking about present (has) and past (had) perfect tenses in class, look over the use of present perfect tense after our class discussion and see if you could spot how they should be used.
-For the first sixteen years of my life, i have never felt the importance and power of language.
-In primary and secondary school I have rarely or rather never taken my English homework seriously.
Compare the sentences above to the sentence below where you used past tense to talk about the same even in the past:
-I remember there was once, after the one month, my teacher was collecting our English holiday homework and I could not submit anything as I did none of the homework she gave us.
2. Inconsistencies in the use of tenses in the sentences below: Can you see you used past and present tenses interchangeably across sentences?
-At that point of time, I felt that doing English homework is a waste of time as it won't reflect much on my grade as compared to other content subjects like science or mathematics.
-It was until these few years that I come to realize the importance of language. One example was my interview at SMU. It was a group interview, questions were asked and whoever wants to answer was given a chance.
-There were many instances where I have many points in my minds but kept to myself eventually as I face problem expressing them. I failed the interview. Also, I feel that the way you speak tell a lot about you.
-When you are able to speak confidently, which will be easy if you are comfortable with the language, and fluently, the words you say will sound more convincing and reliable. All these make me want to improve my language badly.
-I am determined to take all the lessons in Es1102 seriously and I was glad that the basics will be taught as I am really bad at that and I feel that they are the most important. Hope I can better express myself better after this semester and eventually able to speak confidently and eloquently.
-For the first sixteen years of my life, i had never felt the importance and power of language.
ReplyDelete-In primary and secondary school I had rarely or rather never taken my English homework seriously.
-I remember there was once, after the one month holiday, my teacher was collecting our English holiday homework and I could not submit anything as I did none of the homework she gave us.
-At that point of time, I felt that doing English homework was a waste of time as it would not reflect much on my grade as compared to other content subjects like science or mathematics.
-It was until these few years that I come to realize the importance of language. One example was my interview at SMU. It was a group interview, questions were asked and whoever wanted to answer was given a chance.
-There were many instances where I had many points in my minds but kept to myself eventually as I faced problem expressing them. I failed the interview. Also, I feel that the way you speak tell a lot about you.
-When you are able to speak confidently, which will be easy if you are comfortable with the language, and fluently, the words you say will sound more convincing and reliable. All these make me want to improve my language badly.
-I am determined to take all the lessons in Es1102 seriously and I am glad that the basics will be taught as I am really bad at that and I feel that they are the most important. Hope I can better express myself better after this semester and eventually able to speak confidently and eloquently.